Reflection
by Frozen Fate
Summary: Weiss has never had many friends. Partially because there were few people her age in the area, and partially because she's heiress to the Schnee Dust Company.


**Reflection**

**_Abstinence_**

I stared into the reflection. At a girl in a pale blue dress. Into the pale blue eyes. The ones saturated by loneliness. Untouched by love or that foreign emotion, happiness. Without friends, I had lived alone. Told that as Heiress, I shouldn't be attached to others lest they muddle my superior judgment.

For years I had obeyed. I had rarely spoke, and never to anyone but my father and mother. For I was told, all others were beneath me. They were as disposable as a piece of paper in the age of technology. And so I treated them as such. They did not complain as they never spoke a word to me. So somewhere, in my mind, I began to think that they could not speak. I began to think that they were inferior in every way, intellect and all. Just like my parents had told me.

Perhaps it was that sort of thinking that had brought me down. Perhaps it was that which made me yell at a young boy on that day, two years ago. He had ran into me and spilt my drink all over my dress, which mirrored the one I now own. I had screamed at him, believing that though I could scream, he would never be able to retaliate. To me, he was mute and brain-dead.

Up until that moment, I had never been hit. I was sheltered, and all potential threats were removed. The only time I could have been injured was while sparring. But I had not yet been foolish enough to cut myself. To test what pain was.

Up until the time the boy punched me in the face, I had not known discomfort, or irritation. I fell off the chair I was in, and gazed at the liquid that appeared to be exiting my nostrils. It was intriguing, because I had not yet seen a liquid quite this hue of red. Though I had wondered why it was in my nostrils. All the while an unknown burning irritation could be felt in my face.

All color had left the boy's face. As he got me a handkerchief he said "Use this to stop the bleeding. While you do that, pinch the bridge of your nose to cut of the flow of blood."

The burning irritation in my face was fading, and was replaced by curiosity. Was this boy different from the others? Was he able to learn and read and write and talk and fight? After I voiced my thoughts, he laughed. I didn't understand why he laughed. I was completely serious.

"Do you mean to say to say that all the people who work under your father and mother in the Schnee household are imbeciles?" the serving boy asked, anger blossoming on his features. He clenched his fist like he had just before he punched me earlier.

"They're not?" I said surprised. The serving boy's eyebrows arched downward toward his nose. He certainly didn't seem happy. "I mean like, I've never seen anyone working here talk before. Where'd you learn it?"

"Well, we're not all idiots. I would say all of us aren't idiots, but I can't say that about Sam. You know, the guy who mops around? But anyway, my name's Jacob." Jacob held out a hand to help me up. I accepted it and rose to my feet.

"I should probably get to my sparring lesson." As I left the room, I glanced back at Jacob. I met his eyes for a moment before he averted his gaze.

Over the next two years, that would be the first of many encounters with Jacob, each one more coincidental than the last. You might even say that we had been looking for each other. Eventually we would arrange meetings whenever Jacob had saved up enough break time. He became my only friend, and I his.

* * *

It had been my fourteenth birthday when I received my first gift from my father and mother. It was a rapier, much like the ones that I had used in training. Except the ones in training hadn't been Multi Action Dust Rapiers. With it was a note. The note, well, it explained why my parents had given me the rapier and that it wasn't because they loved me.

It read:

_Here is a Multi Action Dust Rapier. Its name is 'Myrtenaster'. You will be responsible for taking care of it. We have given this to you because we want you to be able to defend yourself. If any ransom holders call us about you, we won't pay them a cent. Think of it as a test, and this is your pen. Spend the next month or so familiarizing yourself with the weapon, its abilities, its weight and speed, its capability. You will not be disappointed._

It was a chilly winter afternoon. Normally I would practice indoors, occasionally with a tutor. But today I was outside. A fresh wave of snow had swept over the ground and turned the world white. Days like this were too nice to waste.

"I wonder what a multi action dust rapier is…" I muttered. I'd never heard of anything quite like it, and the note did nothing to enlighten me. I understood the dust rapier part. Many weapons had dust incorporated inside their components to use the power of the elements while fighting with the weapon. But why 'multi action' dust rapier? And why was there an odd trigger like mechanism on the handle?

Pushing on the trigger while gripping it, I heard a whirring noise. To my amazement, something was spinning inside the guard. A satisfying click and then it stopped. Peering closely at the, or really, into the guard, I noticed something. It seemed like vials or crystals of dust were embedded into the rapier itself. Moments after the dust stopped spinning, the blade of the rapier turned light blue.

Unsure whether the colorful light was using the dust, or just an interesting light, I chose to test out the rapier on a few training dummies who had been in the courtyard for this very purpose. I lunged and pierced the edge of a dummy's neck. Instantaneously, a blue explosion blinded my sight. I dove down in case there was any shrapnel.

When I dared to look back up, I saw that the dummy's head and body were incased in ice. It was frozen solid. That's right – Dust could easily freeze something solid with the right type and proper application. The rapier had done this. But how would I know which type of dust would be used before pushing the trigger? Was it entirely luck based? Or was there some sort of order? I really didn't want to blow something up right now, so I decided not to use the trigger again.

Practicing was time consuming, and soon enough, I was drenched in sweat. The sun had come up, and was now a blazing ring above me. Giving in, I allowed myself to have a break. Grabbing my water bottle and chugging it fast, I remembered that I had a 'meeting' with Jacob later. Probably shouldn't miss that. These days they were getting harder and harder to arrange because I was getting busier as I grew up. More lessons, more training, and just less free time in general. Though I had really never had much of it to begin with.

I was to meet him in an unused corridor of the left manor. Jacob, as he worked here, knew the other workers, and what places were visited less often. He felt that this corridor would be deserted today, and told me to find him there. The manor was normally used by visiting dignitaries, or other important figures, but was currently vacant. Of course, it was still kept tidy and neat, but less attention was spent there.

The corridor was actually a really long dead-end. At every doorway, the doors were slightly caved in, so one could in theory hide there. So I checked at every single one of the twenty doorways before realizing that Jacob wasn't here. While heading back, a door opened as I passed. A hand yanked me inside and closed the door.

In the sudden darkness, I couldn't figure out where my unknown adversary was. I drew Myrtenaster, and activated it as a precaution. The light from the blade might be enough to light up the room. Or at least allow me to see anything dangerous coming. But before it had finished spinning, the lights flickered on. It was a regular room, with a work table and a bed. The shutters blocked out any light from the window.

Myrtenaster's blade now shone red. Jacob was standing to the side of the room, hand near the light switch. "Wow, umm… Weiss? You're not going to stab me are you?"

"Can you tell me why you yanked me into the room?" I responded. Unsure as to how to deactivate the rapier's dust abilities, I just stuck it back on my belt.

"For one, there's a masked man who's been following you here." Jacob's voice dropped to a slow whisper. "A minute after you passed by the window, he followed. He was holding onto a small gun like he knew how to use it. I can't be sure, but I think he saw me peering at him through the window. He might be out there right now. Let's just hope he doesn't know we're in this room in particular."

Shutting off the light, I let my eyes adjust to the darkness. I realized a small fracture in the shutters let a minute amount of light in. It was barely bright enough to see where I was going. I leaned against the wall next to the door. If anyone opened it, I would take them down before they could see me. Assuming they don't walk in sideways. But I'd still take them down.

I didn't know how long it would take before the mysterious stranger would catch up. If he did, anyway. For a brief moment, I dared to take out my phone to check the time. Twelve o clock. I had been here for ten minutes. Turning it off, I continued my vigilance.

After an hour of waiting, foot steps could be heard outside the door. I held my breath to be as quiet as possible. The unknown follower passed by without pause. Soon, the footsteps doubled back, as the corridor was a dead end. Like before, they passed by the room without pausing.

The next time I risked peeking at the time was at 2:43. A bit less than two hours since I had entered the manor. Would the stranger have thought that I left? That I had evaded him? I looked over at Jacob across the room. He had not moved in some time. I gestured toward the light switch, and he nodded.

Turning on a light after nearly two hours in complete darkness blinded me. I groaned and covered my eyes. How long would it take for my eyes to adjust? A few seconds? Minutes? Taking a step forward, I stumbled on some foreign object on the ground. Nearly tripping, I steadied myself on the wall.

By now, my eyes had, for the most part, adjusted. Jacob crossed the room, making minute noise on the hardwood floor. A meter or so away from me, he stopped his advance. He cocked his head to the side, and listened. I tried to as well, but I didn't hear anything.

An instant later, Jacob tackled me, just as something flew past my head. It severed a few strands of my hair and embedded itself in the wall. Trying to get a better view, I moved to get up. For some reason, there was a large weight pressuring me. Pressing my chin to my collarbone, I saw the cause. Jacob was on top of me.

Jacob seemed to realize the awkward position we were in, and he rolled off. Finally able to get up, I examined the thing embedded in the wall. It was a bullet. I looked toward the path it would likely have came from to see a hole in the door. It must have broken through the wood and aimed itself directly at my head.

"I wonder… who just tried to kill me? Hey Jacob, do any of the workers-" I trailed off after glancing at him. His face was as red as a tomato. "Is something wrong? Your face is a little bit red. You know, everywhere."

"That's not helping here… "

"But really, does anyone you know have access to guns indoors? And can use them? More importantly, who else would know we're here anyway?"

"I couldn't see the man's face because of his mask, but I'm guessing it wasn't anyone who came from around here. I don't think most people would be allowed to casually walk around with guns." Jacob pulled up the shutters, but no one could be seen. "As for who knows we're here… I didn't tell anyone about it. You?"

"No. I don't think so. Maybe he was just following me to try to catch me when I was unaware and vulnerable." And it might have worked too, if Jacob hadn't tackled me. Then again, he was the only reason I was here and not in my room in the first place.

"Well… I have to say this was an interesting meeting. See you in a week at the arranged place?" I refrained from saying it out loud, in case someone was eavesdropping. As unlikely as it seemed, it was always possible.

"Sure, but make it two weeks."

* * *

The meeting was at 2:47pm. It was at the edge of a cliff, on the border of the land owned by the Schnee family. It would take sometime to get there, and it was unlikely that anyone, for any reason, would be around there. Especially since the forest was not quite safe. The cliff even more so. Which, of course, was where I was supposed to meet him.

Recently, it had started snowing more and more often. The depth of the snow made it take a bit longer than I would have liked, but I got there only slightly late. No one was at the cliff. Other than having a few indentations in the snow, it was deserted.

Walking in circles around the area, I didn't see Jacob anywhere. It was just a cliff. "Well." I hear Jacob's voice from behind me. "You're late." His voice was coming from beyond the edge of the cliff. Could he have fallen off? It turns out he was on a path leading down the cliff. A few meters below the edge, he waved up at me. "Just wait a minute, I'll come up." He called.

Coming back from the forest, Jacob sat down in the snow. "I figured it would probably be better to wait out of view. Do you think anyone followed you?"

"No. I'm positive that no one saw me." I said. Nice idea though, hiding. Though I didn't see you, which could be a problem if we were going to meet." I shrugged. "What about you? Were you followed?"

Jacob scratched his head absentmindedly. "Guess I didn't really think of that too much. Though I doubt that I'd be followed. I mean, well, no one really pays that much attention to me. Except for you, but that's different. Though I suppose that they could have followed me. It's just really unlikely."

Curious, I decided to ask. "How'd you know the way down the cliff? I've never heard of that path before." Surely he didn't jump down did he? That might break a bone or two. Especially if it was head-first.

Jacob seemed to get more cheerful upon being asked. "Well, my brother showed me it! The path doesn't go all the way down, and at some places the ground is unstable, but it's still a nice place. Great view over the valley too. Too bad my brother-" He cut off in the middle of his sentence to look back at the forest.

Following his glance, I only saw the forest. Maybe a flicker of movement, but it might've just been my imagination. Or an innocent animal. "What do you think it is?" I asked. A small grey lump hurtled toward the ground between Jacob and me. I instinctively took a step back before realizing what it was. It was a grenade. "Jump!" I yelled, before leaping off the cliff.

I slid down the cliff on my feet, through the snow. I managed to get to the spot that Jacob had been standing on earlier just as the grenade exploded. Shrapnel flew over my head, all missing its intended target. "Well that wasn't too ba-" Something collides into my legs and almost sends me flying off the edge. Almost.

I sigh, and sit down, legs dangling over the drop. Safe. For now anyway. From behind me, I hear a long crack. It's not Jacob, who's lying down dazed from the fall. It sounds like it's coming from beneath me. Hadn't Jacob said that some of the path was getting weak? The ground shifted. Then it collapsed. I tumbled down a near vertical slope in the snow.

I realized that I was about to get to another ledge, but the world is spinning around me. I barely manage to stop myself from teetering over the edge. Jacob coughed and sat up. "Should we just stay here and continue our 'meeting'? Or postpone it?" I questioned.

Jacob answered immediately. "No point in postponing it. For now, we should be safe from the assassin. He or she probably thought that we jumped off a cliff. To people who don't know that there's a path here, they would think we're dead."

"Alright." I notice that it's starting to snow heavily. Jacob looks up at the clouds and frowns. He gets up and starts walking down the trail.

"We should probably try to stay out of that blizzard. There's a cave here we can stay and chat in." He explained. The cave itself was fairly spacious, though rather barren. Both Jacob and myself were warmly clothed, so we could outlast the storm here .

"What were you saying about your brother? Before a grenade was tossed at us, I mean." I ask hesitantly. I'd never seen anyone who was related to Jacob in the area before, nor had he ever mentioned it to me. Was Jacob's brother still alive?

"My brother moved south with my dad when my mom died. Before we left, we used to sit down here and watch the sun set. It's an amazing view. Have I told you about my family before? I don't think I have, so I might as well.

"My mom worked here, and met my dad here. She helped get me a job here too, when I was young. When she died, I was the only one who stayed. My brother wanted to become a hunter and attend some special school, while my dad didn't want to stay here any longer.

"As for me, I stayed because I want to become a historian. I want to study dust as well. We use it almost every day, but we still don't know what created it and how us humans ended up here. The only thing I could find is some old legend about us being born from dust. Dust seems really important in this mystery. I want to unravel the puzzle of the past.

"Sorry, this is probably really dull and boring for you." He apologized.

"No, it's fine carry on." I tell him.

"So, Weiss. What do you want to do when you grow up?" He asks.

"I don't think I have that many options of what I will do. I'm rather sure that I'll run the Schnee Dust company, as I'm the Heiress of the Schnee Dust company. Unless I die. But since you asked me what I want to do, I'd say… be a singer. It's only a hobby of mine, and I may not be amazing at it, but it's still what I would do, given a choice."

For the next three hours until the blizzard let up, we continued to converse. Though from there, on lighter topics than our futures.

"About the next meeting, it'll have to be in three weeks after tomorrow. I'm off to the south to visit my dad and brother. How about midnight in the garden?"

"Midnight? Isn't that a bit late?" I asked. Both of us had rather taxing duties, and normally we tried to get more sleep, not less.

"It'll be fine." He assured me. "Now let's get you back home."

The journey back up the cliff-side was much slower than the way we had gone down. It also had less falling. Turns out that the path leads out into the forest. From there, I ran back home.

* * *

I paced in circles in my room. Fairly spacious, it was at least ten meters long, and almost as wide. It was plainly decorated, compared to the rest of the household anyway. I had to tell my father about the murder attempts sooner or later. I figured today would be as good as any other day. But what would I say? Would I just walk in, and say "Oh, hey father. Some masked people tried to kill me. Bye." Then walk out? Something told me that that approach wouldn't be very good.

Throughout the day, a few chances showed up. While eating breakfast for example. Though that might not have been the happiest thing to talk about while eating Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes. Another tim I could've told him was when I passed by him in the hall. But I made another excuse for myself to avoid it. By lunch, I had resolved to walk into his office and tell him.

Walking in as I had planned, I took one look at my father's face then got nervous. Something about it told me that I wasn't going to get in trouble. "Umm sorry. Wrong room. I was looking for… the bathroom?" I finished lamely.

I started to back out of the office, when he said "Wait." I stop at the door, one hand on the knob. "Do not lie to me child, you know this house like the back of your hand. You wouldn't get lost here even if you were blind. I can tell you have something to say. Spit it out already."

"Someone tried to kill me. Or at least shoot me. And another one tried to get me with a grenade." I said, relieved to have finally told my father about it. "I don't know what the man looked like, or really, whether he was a man at all. All I know is that he had a mask going all the way up to his eyes. Could have been a woman, for all I know."

My father didn't seem surprised to hear that someone tried to murder me. Well, he didn't seem like he had emotions either, but still. One might think that hearing about their child nearly dieing would make them feel something, anything really. "You were with Jacob." It wasn't a question.

"Yes?" Part of me was curious as to how he knew, but dismissed it. Who knows? He probably already saw it happen, via a video recording. "But he saved my life. If he hadn't pushed me out of the way, there would be this hole going through my skull. Kind of glad he was there really. I mean like, I'd prefer not to have a hole in my skull. "

"I suppose so. Though I am disappointed. You could not capture your attacker? You could not defeat him and show him his attempt was futile? That he shouldn't dare try? That the Schnee family is not one to mess with? A shame." He shook his head, though his expression never changed. Really, I'd never seen it shift from its regular bland visage.

"He had a gun!" I protested.

"And you have Myrtenaster. Which can do much more than a simple gun." He responded. "You should stay away from Jacob. Do not meet him, speak to him, or become involved with him in any way. Do you understand? You are now dismissed."

I left without a complaint, but wondered why my father had told me to avoid Jacob. He hadn't done anything wrong. And I certainly wasn't going to follow the order. The next time I meet Jacob, I'll tell him about this. It seems suspicious.

I was supposed to meet Jacob at midnight in the garden. The garden was full of flowers like Gentian, Arnica, Leontopodium Alipinum (also called Edelweiss), Myrtenasters, and many others. Right now, many were in full bloom, so the garden was a beautiful sight. Though I haven't visited it at night before.

Sneaking out at midnight was not something I was allowed to do, but anyone who would come across me wouldn't question me. It would however, make it easier for someone to follow me, as it is easier to hide in the shadows than under sunlight. But I had avoided them twice hadn't I? Perhaps I can do it again.

Upon entering the garden, something struck me as odd. I did not recall a gallows tree being in the center of the garden. Nor did I think we had one. But here it was, and someone had been hanged on it. I walked forward hesitantly. There was something familiar about the corpse. The blonde hair, for one. Only when standing a few steps away from corpse did I realize who it was. Jacob.

Why was he hanging there? How did it happen? Was this some sort of sick joke? The reality of the situation hit me. Jacob was dead. My only friend in fourteen years of existence was gone forever. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I understood what had happened. My father, no one else could have done this with him unaware, had hanged Jacob. Perhaps the murder attempts on my life, were actually attempts on his. Maybe it was only coincidental that we were near each other.

I backed away from my dead friend, then dashed out of the garden. I wanted answers. I wanted to know from the one person who had caused this. I went to my father. It was a little past midnight, but I didn't care. I threw open the door to find my father sitting in his armchair sipping coffee. Perhaps he had known that I would come.

"Why did you do that to him?" I screamed at my father. He gazed passively back at me, face devoid of any expression. And for some reason, I was angrier because of the lack of emotion. It was as if he was treating me as just an annoyance.

"Weiss. Stop this tirade of anger. It is unbecoming for a heiress like yourself to lose her temper. I merely dealt with something that was getting in your way. That boy was making you stray from your training as the heiress to the Schnee Dust company."

"That 'boy' was my best friend. He was my ONLY friend!" screaming louder now. My father once again seemed unfazed. "How can you treat his murder like he was just a bug to squash?"

"Exactly my point. A heiress like yourself of a family such as ours needs not friends. We of the Schnee family do not need such common things as friends. We do not require emotions. We are above all others. We are set apart. We are better. We are _the finest of them all_."

At this point I laughed. Slowly, but then louder. Not for the first time, or the last time for that matter, in my life, I wondered whether being cooped up alone for many of my years made me go insane. For once, my father's stoic face faltered for a brief moment. But it reverted back so fast I might've imagined it.

"Father. We are still human. We are mortal. We can love, we can hate, we feel pain and can experience joy. It is unnatural for one to part with these emotions. You have made me grow up abnormally; with a special bond to something you call 'loneliness'. I was more familiar with fear, sadness, and irritation than happiness and laughter. Is that what you wanted?

"I think it was what you wanted. But that wasn't enough for you. Not only did you give me a stunted childhood, you murdered my best, and only friend. Do you think this is good for someone my age? Do you think you are a good parent?

"Because you are not. I don't care whether you're a good businessman, or owner, or anything. You're my father. But in that, you have failed. Good job."

My father did not respond immediately. When he spoke, he sounded cold and uncaring. "Go. But before you do, let me tell you that this will not go unpunished." Taking that as a sign that I should probably leave, I hastily vacated the office. Lying on my bed, I realized something. If I became close to anyone again, my father would 'dispose' of them like he did Jacob.

I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I thought of Jacob. His dead body hanging limply from the rope. And how I might have been able to prevent it. What if I hadn't befriended Jacob? Would he still have died?

No, probably not. If I hadn't befriended him, then there wouldn't have been a reason for my father to hang him. I sat up and stared at my hands. I was responsible for a death. I had killed Jacob. Because really, who else was there to blame? My father had done it because of me. Jacob could have lived if he never met me. The truth haunted me.

Jacob had had a family. He had wanted to discover lost history; he had wanted to clarify things in the world that had been left unknown for years. He had a future. But unlike me, he had worked hard for it. He had spent years working, while I was born to be the heiress to the company.

For a moment I toyed with the thought of running away. Leaving the burden of the past in this house, and escaping. To forget the past, to ignore it. To live under a different name, to not be the person my father wanted me to be. It would be a way to rebel against him. Except I can't run away. To run away from my past, to forget the deeds I had done… that would be an insult to Jacob. Forgetting him would not do. Besides, my face was known throughout the continent. I wouldn't get very far.

So what could I do? Just stay here and do nothing? What good would that do me? Could I attack my father? That would only get me into a mental facility. Well, I guess I could start by getting some sleep. I could think more on what to do in the morning.

But I couldn't sleep. I spent what felt like hours staring at the ceiling. Willing myself to sleep. Whether I could do that, I didn't know. But I had to try. All this time awake and without work or anything to occupy my thoughts gave me time to brood. To think about my life, and the world. About life in general, and why we exist. Why do we exist, if we can die so easily? What's the point?

I don't know how long it took, but eventually my tortured consciousness drifted off.

* * *

Jacob was glaring at me. I stared back at him. "Y-you're alive?" Jacob scowled in irritation, and pulled out a knife.

"No. But I'm here anyway. You killed me Weiss. You were the one who caused this. So I'll return the favor." Jacob advanced toward me, still gripping the knife in his right hand. Suddenly my room felt a lot smaller. I was fast, sure, but could I get past Jacob unarmed while he stood between me and the door? Probably not.

"Jacob. Don't do this. We're friends remember?" I slowly raised my hands, preparing to bolt.

"We were. Until you killed me." He said, a demented smile widening on his face. He advanced, one step at a time. Slowly, but surely, he would reach me. And do whatever he meant to do with his knife. I looked down to my belt for Myrtenaster, but it wasn't there.

I ran for it the moment he stepped within a meter's range of me. For a brief moment, I thought to myself. I can do it. I can get out. I can evade him. And I did. I was first to the door. I yanked on the knob, ready to run all the way out of the city, if need be. But it was locked.

How could it be locked from the other side? The lock was right under my finger, it was set on unlocked. But why couldn't I get out? Why couldn't I escape? A knife hurled past my head, just barely missing my cheek. Jacob was coming for me. My only friend was going to torture me, kill me, to do anything to hurt me.

I screamed. But no one came. No one did a thing. Through the window, I saw a gardener trimming the hedge. He looked in for a brief moment, then continued his trimming. He didn't care that I was about to die. And why should he? I had killed my best friend. I had betrayed him. I hadn't warned him in time of my suspicions. This was my punishment.

Producing another knife from somewhere on his person, Jacob stabbed me through the stomach. I fell to the ground. He knelt down, and stabbed again. He carved intricate lines of blood across my skin. And the pain. It was consuming. Like nothing else I'd ever felt. I opened my mouth to scream, to say something, anything to try to stop the torture. But my vocal cords could not function. I could only helplessly lie there, unable to do anything. To be truly defenseless.

* * *

Someone was shaking my shoulders. I blinked to see the maid, eyes wide with shock. "L-lady Weiss. Y-you've been s-screaming in y-your sleep for quite a while." I looked out the window to see the full moon. It was still the middle of the night or early morning.

"I'm fine." My voice came out hoarse and ragged. The maid gave me a look. I could tell she couldn't believe me. But I couldn't let her stay here right now. "You can go now."

She opened her mouth to argue, but said nothing. She left me in silence. I stared out the window. At the perfect white circle that was the moon. And cried. For the first time in many years, I cried. It was likely that someone would hear my sobbing, but I didn't care. I could only hope that the nightmare was a one time thing, that it would not plague my nights and ruin my waking hours.

It wasn't. It occurred, the exact same scenario, every single night. The same hopelessness, the same torture, the same pain. The only thing that kept my sanity intact was the thought that in the future, I could stop a similar event from happening. Stop another death at my hands.

From then on, I adopted a different personality, embracing it as my own. I did not want to be kind. If I was, I could be thrown into that unbearable bond called friendship. To protect those who met me, I had to wall myself off. To make them despise me.

It was not nice, but it was better than having another friend haunting me. I could often hear the whispers around the corners or through thin doors. They would say that I had changed, that I would become a tyrant. From these whispers, I knew I was doing things right. I did not want to become despised, hated, and to be thought as cruel. But it was a necessary sacrifice to protect those around me. And I will live this way, for the rest of my live if need be.

Abstinence is the only way to prevent hurt, to block out betrayal. If I never befriended anyone again, I would never feel the pain of losing a friend. Never cause another's death again. To never feel love, or sympathy, I suppose, is my fate. But perhaps it is better to be despised than to have known the best things in life. Things like happiness, love, laughter, and peace. For it only hurts more to be parted with them.

* * *

**_Reflection_**

Author's Note.

Now that I think back to a certain event that happened all those years ago, I think that perhaps I was wrong. Maybe refraining from friendship isn't the right way to live one's life. It certainly isn't the best. But what if you had immersed yourself into a role that rejected others. For so long that it merged with your own personality. Could you still undo the change? Could one finally gain a friend after all that time alone?

I hope so. For my future, and the people around me, I hope I can and will.

_~ Weiss Schnee_

* * *

Ruby had the first watch tonight. In the ever too likely event that something would attack, she would alert her partner, Weiss, then proceed to beat it up. The Emerald forest didn't seem like it would be an easy trial. Ruby sighed. Only three more hours to go before it was Weiss's turn. She half hoped something would attack to relieve her boredom, to end the silence.

A sudden scream alerted Ruby. It sounded like Weiss. Turning only confirmed Ruby's suspicions. But why had Weiss screamed? A moment earlier she had been sleeping soundly.

"Weiss? Is something wrong?" Ruby asked. If Weiss had heard the question, she was ignoring it. Instead she just kept staring up at the full moon. "Weiss!" Ruby repeated louder. This time she reacted with a start.

"S-stay away from me." Weiss said, voice timid. For possibly the first time Ruby had heard her speak, Weiss sounded afraid. But of what? Weiss began to walk off into the forest. Ruby followed and grabbed Weiss's arm to stop her.

"Let go of me." Weiss struggled to free herself, but to no avail.

"No." Ruby responded. "I'm your partner. I need to know what's wrong." Pulling on Weiss's arm, she turned. Ruby was shocked to see tears running freely down her face.. For a moment, Ruby's grip loosened. In that moment, Weiss broke free and dashed into the forest.

"Wait! Come back!" Ruby called out. Weiss did not stop, and the only thing Ruby could do was follow. Before long, they vanished into the night.

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******Fun Fact - 'Edelweiss' when translated to english literally means 'Noble White'. Edel is german for Noble, and Weiss is german for White.**


End file.
